“Oscar Nominations are in”:http://www.oscar.com/nominees/nominees.html! ‘Tis the season to indulge in a bit of movie gossip and speculation, and just a wee bit of obsession with celebrities. Maybe even thumb through a copy of Entertainment Weekly at the drugstore.
Except that I haven’t seen the vast majority of the movies. Parenthood contains far more rewards than sacrifices, but the almost complete absence of moviegoing this past year figures prominently in the latter category. Skimming down the list, I realized with horror that _I don’t have an opinion_ on most of this stuff. But I’ll do my best . . .
Lead Actor: Haven’t seen any of the movies. But Don Cheadle is one of the great actors of our time and I hope he wins.
Supporting Actor: Haven’t seen ‘em.
Lead Actress: Kate Winslet Kate Winslet Kate Winslet! _Eternal Sunshine_ was the best movie last year that I _did_ see. Quirky enough that I didn’t think she’d be nominated.
Supporting Actress: Haven’t seem ‘em. But I hope Cate Blanchett or Natalie Portman win, out of loyalty to my Top Five[1] list.
Animated: I didn’t see the other ones, but _The Incredibles_ should have been up for Best Picture, so it darn well better win this consolation prize.
Directing: Give it to Scorcese already.
Best Picture: Haven’t seen ‘em. Having only heard of ‘em, my gut tells me to root for _Sideways_.
Writing (adapted): Haven’t . . . seen . . . ‘em. This is so embarassing.
Writing (original): Aiieee! _Eternal Sunshine_ and _The Incredibles_ in the same category? How am I to choose?
fn1. For those not familiar with the concept of the Top Five list: it is composed of the five celebrities (or otherwise famous, unattainable people) that you think have the most sex appeal, construed in the broadest possible terms (for example, I wouldn’t put a poor actress in my Top Five). Actors, musicians, and sports stars are all appropriate. The list must be based on current celebrities as they current appear, though there’s some debate on that point among Top Five aficianados. Top Five lists are often in flux, but my current one is: Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Morena Baccarin, and a fifth slot that bounces between Angelina Jolie and Neko Case.

14 comments
January 25, 2005 at 5:02 pm
Adam P
Ah, the top five. Here’s mine, because so many people have been asking.
1. Eve
2. Maura Tierney
3. Salma Hayek, empirically the most attractive female since the dawn of time and if you disagree, you’re simply not paying attention. That is all. I have spoken.
4. Kristy Swanson (the original Buffy the vampire slayer)
5. Carmen Electra. I’m just being honest.
Good call on Kate Winslet. If I was a better man, she’d have cracked my list as well. Instead there’s Carmen. I’m not proud of all the things I do.
January 25, 2005 at 7:09 pm
nate
Adam: Is Eve your historical wife, or some current pop-culture phenom I’m not aware of?
January 25, 2005 at 9:42 pm
sarah b
Who the heck in Morena Baccarin? And don’t you think the topic of Top Five is worth an entire blog entry? In fact, I’m sure you’d have a lot more to say about it than you obviously did about the Oscar nominations…
(Adam, I’m afraid you just lost several points of respect from me. Salma, Kristy, and Carmen?! Whatever happened to “Jewel in a push-up bra?”)
January 25, 2005 at 10:58 pm
Adam P.
Hmmm. You know, it’s been so long since someone made an Adam & Eve crack that I actually wasn’t thinking of that when I put Eve down on my top five. But no, I don’t mean the historical Eve, although I’m sure she was leggy. I mean singer/actress Eve, she of the tiger paw tattos and “Barbershop” fame.
Okay, who the devil leaked the ‘Jewel in a pushup bra’ bit? I took great pains to erase all mention of that unfortunate situation in case I ever run for office, or, for that matter, plan on going out among people again.
January 26, 2005 at 10:03 am
jonathan
Hey, another Maura Tierney fan. I’m not sure I’d place her in my top-5 right now (always in flux, like on a daily basis), but she’s awfully close, and is a huge reason why I still watch ER.
January 26, 2005 at 1:04 pm
Bryan
Since for the first time in years, I could care less about the Oscar nominees, I will devote my comment to sharing my Top 5 as well:
1. Jessica Alba
2. Julie Delpy
3. Adriana Lima
4. Allison Hannigan (yes, Willow, I know…)
5. Gwyneth Paltrow
January 27, 2005 at 9:32 am
nate
Sarah: Morena Baccarin is an actress on the erstwhile TV show “Firefly” (and its upcoming followup movie, “Serenity). Top Five probably could have had its own entry, sure, but I needed something to pad my (otherwise nonexistent) Oscar commentary.
But if I ever DID do a whole T5 entry, I woud title it “Jewel in a Push-Up Bra.”
I also like Maura Tierney, though not enough to watch ER.
Bryan: As long as you didn’t put A.H. on your list before she turned 18, you’re in the clear …
January 27, 2005 at 1:44 pm
Bryan
Yes – definitely the over 18 A.H.
January 29, 2005 at 11:15 am
Greg
What would you have even seen an under-18 A.H. in? She was in her 20s when Buffy started.
January 30, 2005 at 7:53 pm
Heather
1. Hugh Jackman
2. Sting
3. Colin Firth
4. Kevin Spacey
5. Colin Farrell
January 31, 2005 at 12:03 pm
Anonymous
apparently orientation is a non-issue for Heather, or do Jackman and Spacey swing both ways?
Me, I’m still trying to come to grips with Ellen being out of the question. Not to mention the cute Indigo girl.
January 31, 2005 at 1:05 pm
Anonymous
Dear anonymous:
Hugh Jackman is really, really straight: wife, kids, etc, and no beard in sight. Kevin Spacey? Well, it’s the top five fantasy, right?
January 31, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Tom
Sorry-that wasn’t meant to be anonymous. I think I may have confused the Wolverine with that a different dark, handsome actor, maybe the guy in “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Or maybe I just need to watch more ET. And, on this blog I should clarify that means Entertainment Tonight and not a space alien.
January 31, 2005 at 1:20 pm
nate
Greg: That’s right; I had forgotten that AH (all the Scooby Gang, actually) were way older than their fictional counterparts.
Heather & Tom: Heather is correct; cross-orientation picks are allowed. This is a fantasy list. The chances that you would ever be able to hook up with these people are roughly equal to the chances that they’d suddenly switch sides, so everyone’s fair game.
For that reason, Portia de Rossi (from Arrested Development) is very close to making it to my top five. As is Jude Law.